A friend shares daily pieces of attitudes & thoughts from one of her daily readings. Today's is somewhat poignant, considering an experience I've had recently:
As I look back over this year, I will consider calmly my actions and attitudes, just as though I were evaluating the progress of someone else. I will not make it an occasion for guilt and regret. I will blame no one else for anything that happened, for I have learned in Alanon that I am not a judge of others. This day, and the days to come, will be filled with opportunities to make more of myself.
The purpose of my inventory is to get a clear picture of where I now stand, to recognize shortcomings that still need to be corrected, and not to use any self-deceiving means of justifying them.
This is a much-needed reminder for me that I have no reason to feel guilty ... that I have nothing to apologize for, regardless of how others' actions & words create discord & turmoil. My emotional reaction right now is one of hurt, disbelief, bewilderment. But I will continue to reassure myself that I did not cause what's occurred ... I am surprised that some feel a need to create 'sides' rather than live a life that reflects purported beliefs. And my ramblings here are just that ... ramblings of bewilderment. *deep breath* Life does indeed go on & I will move forward, clear in my own conscience.
p.s. Thank you for those who've left such wonderfully encouraging comments! All is good ... Every path has to have a few stumbles but I've learned to pick myself up & keep moving.