2.17.2009

checking in...

here i sit .. still on the laptop at home. doing almost nothing "crafty" ... *sigh* well, i did launder some muslin for a secret little project. maybe tomorrow i'll play with it. i have done a few 'personal' pages in a journal, working through letting go with my daughter.

do you have children? have they left home in whatever manner? my girl's almost 19, is in her 7th month away at college ... and it's just now really hitting me that she's not 5 years old anymore. nothing bad is happening ... she's just growing up & i'm just not ready. i know .. i can't stop it & she's a wonderful young woman. i know we can trust her, i know she's pretty darn smart about a lot of things ... but can't we go back to "then"?

through all of this, i'm realizing i'm still working on reclaiming me. finding me, still. do i want to do this or that or those? that resolution i made a year ago to give myself a year "off" is sort of haunting me. realistically, it's not a bad thing, any of it. a bit disconcerting at times, i guess. is this just me frustrated 'cause i can't sit at our worktable & play? i want to do & am not able to do ... all in good time, right?

oh! i did go to a land aerobics class last night. haven't heard of it? i think it's fairly new. it's aerobics aimed at people with arthritis or other limiting issues. my mom has arthritis of many sorts & needs to move more, so, off we went to class. it felt good to do something physical - it's been way too many years since i've been in an aerobics class. next week, i'm going to the low impact aerobics class ... will i survive? *lol*

5 comments:

GAFFERGIRLS.COM said...

thanks for sharing.....
my heart is with you and know these feeling ...
we trust them it just that random stuff happening that scares us mom's....
life is a journey...

all my love
mona

Sandy said...

Awwwww. A great big hug for you. I'm trying to go through a little of this right now and my "teenager" is here right now, yes in his room on the computer like me no less. I think boys are different than girls because I was much closer to my Mom. We did and still do those Mother/Daughter girly things. Boys do boy things but he's closer to me than his Dad. I've been here longer. You know what I mean I'm sure.

It is very hard and only those people with children know how hard it is to let go.

The land aerobics class sounds like lots of fun. I wish they offered that here. LOL Yea right. I'll just continue with my Yoga. It's working.

I'm glad I visited, I've got to go do laundry now for tomorrow night.

Terri said...

I didn't have children of my own and my step children range in age from their mid 20's to 30's...So I can't know what you are feeling exactly. But I have given it some thought...So here is my thought... Parents help their children through all their stages of growth
all the while the parents themselves are still growing and maturing. Perhaps like when a teacher teaches... sometimes the students teaches the teacher something unexpected. Children who are now young adults moving on to the next stage of thier life and perhaps not even giving it a second thought... but by being absent from the home teach the parents how to still love them but to let go. Parents then have to learn how to turn there attention back on themselves...into other pursutes and giving themselves the permission to do so. It can be likened to a new job. It may take a while before you get used to it.

Not sure if these words really have convied my thought...
Anyway ..I feel for ya

Pumpkin said...

I have no idea what that feels like Nancy but I've got lot of hugs here for you!

Lisa said...

Hi Nancy! That's sweet! I've never been in your situation, but I've been in your daughter's. Don't worry, there are many, many years ahead when you will be needed in many, many ways! You might look back and wonder "what was I thinking"! By the way, thanks for the choker encouragement! Take care, Lisa C.